Life goes on in Sudan, much as it did before I arrived. Roosters start crowing at 6am to accompany the scratchy sound of homemade reed brooms sweeping across the dust outside compounds. Builds discipline and an appreciation for cleanliness in all the girls whose chore it is. My boss starts her morning run at 6:30, after already being awake for 2 hours working away on her laptop and sending emails. The emails often start at 4am and don't end until 11pm. A squadron from the nearby SPLA barracks starts their morning jog which goes up the main road past the camp where we live. Residents can hear their singing and chanting in Dinka through the tent flaps where I more often than not wished away the dawn and hoped for just one more hour of sleep. The line for the shower starts to grow longer, people waiting their turn in towels and plastic flip flops, toothbrushes and shampoo in hand. The camp truly comes alive at 7, with residents tromping their way to breakfast. South Africans in sturdy boots and khaki speaking in a mix of Afrikaans and English. Kenyans joking in Swahili, sitting off on a table by themselves. Eggs, bacon, fried tomatoes, mushrooms, porridge, baked beans and toast. The NGO workers grabbing a Diet Coke and some toast before walking out in flip flops to the fleet of land cruisers which will carry them away to their desk jobs.
Do I miss this all? Definitely. Am I glad to be here, and not there? Absolutely. It's a strange dichotomy that I haven't quite figured out yet. Simba and I were talking the other day about how we don't know if we'll ever "get over" Sudan. Yes it was tough and yes we were ready to leave, but where else would we be able to watch men, women, children, goats, motorbikes and land cruisers, all stripped naked, all being washed in the river? To drive out past the town barrier to discover a broken bridge and therefore a perfect picnic spot to watch the sunset? Decide to drive a tractor to a party because the car wouldn't start? See the joy in women's faces when we go to their village to tell them about how to prevent malaria? Be able to lie together on a blanket under the stars, so so many stars you can't see anywhere in a city? Work 70 or 80 hours during the week but completely let go during the weekends - drinking slushies in the pool or dancing under a thatched roof?
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We met up for dinner with 6 other former Juba-ites who were in town on holiday. So strange to see everyone again in a completely different context. I'm not quite sure how, but we managed to talk about everything except Sudan for the most part of the meal. Because things are not in such a good place right now. Corruption and mismanagement of the government budget are so bad that it will take until 2012 for the government to honor the contracts they have signed for this year. Jonglei state is still awash in violence, with the armed groups now claiming militia status. The latest info is that there are 1,200 armed and organized men carrying out the attacks. That is two batallions worth.
And a little closer to home, at a barbeque at one of the UN agency compounds, a friend of ours, U, was leaving Juba and her husband flew in to help her pack, to move out, and to see where she had been living and working for the past year. The gathering ended but a drunk man (from a country that will remain nameless but rhymes with "Prussia") insisted on staying the night at the compound. He was told he had to leave by our friend A, but obviously he did not like that answer because he punched A right in the face. U's husband got up to try to deal with the drunk guy, but was punched in the chest. He fell down and never got back up. He died, right there. From the punch in the chest. Does this really happen? Ever? U went back to her country (in Eastern Europe), and the assailant got deported back to his country. No one in Sudan can officially charge or touch him because he worked for the UN, and no legal action will be taken against him because honestly no one cares back in his country. U is now taking things day by day. It's been about a month since this happened, and she is obviously still devastated. Learning to live on her own. She has never paid a bill in her life - she met her husband in college, he took care of everything until she finished grad school, and then she started working in international development where the agencies pay for everything. My god I don't know what I would do.
There is no rhyme or reason to any of this, and it seems like things are going to pieces. People ask me "how is it over there in Sudan" and half the time I don't even know what to answer. I think the only hope the country has right now is the referendum coming up in 2011 where at least the government has a chance to be legitimized and can "insha'allah" take responsibility and pull together. But once the element of a common "enemy" is removed, will the hundreds of tribes be able to rally together under one flag, or will they turn back against each other as has happened since the dawn of time?
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Apologies for the far from upbeat post, but that's where I am at the moment. Every year around September 11th I get more introspective, reliving that day, and remembering that in many places around the world that is the norm of life, rather than the exception. It was so good to see people from a different time and place that is still so familiar, but yet so far away now. The idea that I will never see or do any of the things in the first part of the post again still has not yet sunk in. But I am sure that no matter where I am I can create a sense of adventure, a sense of romance and fun because you can't have hope without first glimpsing dispair and you can't appreciate the good without the bad.
Showing posts with label How is it possible things are this bad?. Show all posts
Showing posts with label How is it possible things are this bad?. Show all posts
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Prefailed state?
It's not good when The Economist calls your country a "Prefailed State" before it is even a legitimate state!
http://www.economist.com/world/mideast-africa/displaystory.cfm?story_id=13832163
Also interesting that in 2009 more people are dying on a day to day basis from conflict in Southern Sudan than in Darfur.
http://www.economist.com/world/mideast-africa/displaystory.cfm?story_id=13832163
Also interesting that in 2009 more people are dying on a day to day basis from conflict in Southern Sudan than in Darfur.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Attack on UN Barge in Jonglei
For some reason it doesn't bother me that the world has no idea what is going on in Southern Sudan. I suppose I have grown sufficiently cynical that I believe that there is only so much information that people can take in over the course of the day, and understanding a war in a place someone has never heard of that seemingly has no outward connection to the "Western World" could just be too much to ask for. Why would this make the top world news headlines in a time of economic crisis, nuclear bomb tests in North Korea, and EU elections?
A part of me strongly believes that if more countries got involved, it would make things even worse. Sometimes people just need to work things out themselves. But in this case, people have been left to work things out themselves for over 50 years and things have not gotten any better. I do not believe the CPA to be a peace agreement, it is acting as merely a five year ceasefire until the referendum in 2011. There is much being done to undermine the CPA, both overtly and covertly. Backing of the LRA as well as other armed tribal groups to carry out attacks within Southern Sudan to name one.
But this incident? This is not good. The barges carrying food from WFP were headed to Akobo, in Jonglei, which is the same state from my previous post (although still 2 days drive away from where I was). What I didn't mention in that post was that this region has been plagued by clashes between Dinka and Murle, Jikani Nuer and Murle, etc. Cattle raids, abducting children, etc. Hundreds of people killed at this point over the course of a few months. But now that they've attacked a UN agency? That is when this issue gets picked up by the international media. Not only did they attack a UN convoy, but the convoy had an escort from the SPLA, the army of Southern Sudan. These are Southerners fighting Southerners.
What will happen if the South votes for independence in 2011 and people realize they do not have a common enemy anymore?
Friday, December 19, 2008
New tactic with the LRA
Starting on December 14th, the governments of DRC, Uganda and Southern Sudan launched a joint military offensive (Ugandan war planes, Southern Sudanese and DRC troops) aimed at forcing Joseph Kony, the leader of the rebel group the Lord's Resistance Army (LRA), to sign a peace agreement. Kony helped negotiate the agreement, and promised to sign seven times, but has not shown up at any of the four agreed-upon dates to sign.
Joseph Kony (left), leader of the Lord's Resistance Army, shakes hands with Riek Machar (center), Vice President of the Government of Southern Sudan, in a May 2006 meeting at Yambio to discuss LRA activity in the region. Vincent Otti, Kony's deputy, stands on the right of Mr. Machar. The man in the red beret is a member of the UPDF (Ugandan Government's military). Source - Wikipedia accessed 19/12/08.
Joseph Kony is a particularly nasty person - under his leadership, the LRA has systematically abducted over 60,000 children since the late '80's, and Kony has anywhere from 27 to 50 wives (mostly abducted girls). In 2005, Kony and three of his senior commanders were indicted by the International Criminal Court for crimes against humanity, which include murder, enslavement, sexual enslavement and rape. Despite all this, Kony declares himself a the "spokesperson" of God and a spirit medium, and that the LRA is fighting for the Ten Commandments.
The LRA believe they are protecting the Acholi people of northern Uganda from a government run by southerners. But, while in the late 1980's-2005 they focused on their campaigns in Northern Uganda, since 2005 they have been operating in DRC, CAR, and Southern Sudan.
Since I arrived in Southern Sudan a little more than a year ago, there have been countless attacks by the LRA in Central and Western Equitoria. Same tactics - abducting children and raping women. This happens mainly on the border, but reports of raids on villages (mainly for food and supplies) farther in the interior are also sporadically reported. Roads connecting Juba, Yei, Lainya, Torit and Nimule have been shut down (the Ugandan border), as have roads between Maridi, Yambio, and Tambura (DRC and CAR borders). Our programmatic operations and those of countless other agencies have been affected and costs of the mandatory armed escorts for travel along those roads around times of insecturity have soared.
Part of my job is scanning the UN/NGO security reports for trouble around Tambura county, where we have one staff member based and a peer education program running. One of the payams (equivalent to a town) the peer educators normally go to on the border with DRC and CAR, named Source Yubu, was attacked this past year, and the Payam Administrator, who did not run and hide but tried to negotiate with the rebels, was shot and killed. He was our biggest ally - he was HIV positive and talked openly about his status and experience with his people. Not one person did more to tackle stigma and discrimination, and promote understanding and compassion, than he did.
So how do I feel about the change in tactic of the international community, from peace talks and negotiations to military offensives? I have mixed feelings. Joseph Kony was not going to willingly come out of the jungle to sign an agreement and turn himself over with all of the ICC, that's for sure. And armed conflict always claims civilian lives. Neither way is perfect.
So which is the lesser of the two evils? Trying to end the LRA's guerrilla warfare with peaceful means and negotiations while the LRA kills more people and destabilizes the region, or try to force Kony and the LRA out with force while killing the child soldiers abducted from their families who are now LRA combatants, and forcing thousands of cilivians around the areas where the LRA have their bases out of their homes? What do you think?
Joseph Kony (left), leader of the Lord's Resistance Army, shakes hands with Riek Machar (center), Vice President of the Government of Southern Sudan, in a May 2006 meeting at Yambio to discuss LRA activity in the region. Vincent Otti, Kony's deputy, stands on the right of Mr. Machar. The man in the red beret is a member of the UPDF (Ugandan Government's military). Source - Wikipedia accessed 19/12/08.
Joseph Kony is a particularly nasty person - under his leadership, the LRA has systematically abducted over 60,000 children since the late '80's, and Kony has anywhere from 27 to 50 wives (mostly abducted girls). In 2005, Kony and three of his senior commanders were indicted by the International Criminal Court for crimes against humanity, which include murder, enslavement, sexual enslavement and rape. Despite all this, Kony declares himself a the "spokesperson" of God and a spirit medium, and that the LRA is fighting for the Ten Commandments.
The LRA believe they are protecting the Acholi people of northern Uganda from a government run by southerners. But, while in the late 1980's-2005 they focused on their campaigns in Northern Uganda, since 2005 they have been operating in DRC, CAR, and Southern Sudan.
Since I arrived in Southern Sudan a little more than a year ago, there have been countless attacks by the LRA in Central and Western Equitoria. Same tactics - abducting children and raping women. This happens mainly on the border, but reports of raids on villages (mainly for food and supplies) farther in the interior are also sporadically reported. Roads connecting Juba, Yei, Lainya, Torit and Nimule have been shut down (the Ugandan border), as have roads between Maridi, Yambio, and Tambura (DRC and CAR borders). Our programmatic operations and those of countless other agencies have been affected and costs of the mandatory armed escorts for travel along those roads around times of insecturity have soared.
Part of my job is scanning the UN/NGO security reports for trouble around Tambura county, where we have one staff member based and a peer education program running. One of the payams (equivalent to a town) the peer educators normally go to on the border with DRC and CAR, named Source Yubu, was attacked this past year, and the Payam Administrator, who did not run and hide but tried to negotiate with the rebels, was shot and killed. He was our biggest ally - he was HIV positive and talked openly about his status and experience with his people. Not one person did more to tackle stigma and discrimination, and promote understanding and compassion, than he did.
So how do I feel about the change in tactic of the international community, from peace talks and negotiations to military offensives? I have mixed feelings. Joseph Kony was not going to willingly come out of the jungle to sign an agreement and turn himself over with all of the ICC, that's for sure. And armed conflict always claims civilian lives. Neither way is perfect.
So which is the lesser of the two evils? Trying to end the LRA's guerrilla warfare with peaceful means and negotiations while the LRA kills more people and destabilizes the region, or try to force Kony and the LRA out with force while killing the child soldiers abducted from their families who are now LRA combatants, and forcing thousands of cilivians around the areas where the LRA have their bases out of their homes? What do you think?
Monday, November 17, 2008
When those "situations" become personal
As we turned the bend on the way into work, my boss pulled the car over and said, "Get out and act calm." I swiveled in my seat and saw my colleague outside her vehicle arguing with a man who was visibly angry and yelling at her. Not one to be shy, she was standing up to him and yelling right back. A policeman from the opposite side of the intersection walked over to try to address the situation, and I got out of the car and walked over with my peacemaker face on. The policeman manged to get the two of them to move their collided vehicles away from the middle of the road, the passengers in the matatus silently got down from the vehicle to surrounded me, my colleague, the driver, the policeman, and a bystander who spoke English, and the negotiations began.
Standing outside by the side of a Juba road in the rain on a Monday morning trying to negotiate with a drunken matatu driver on how much money we would pay him for his broken light after he ran into my colleague's vehicle was not how I wanted to start my week.
However, my boss obviously wanted me to deal with the situation, not this other woman, so for the second time since I've been here I was the one to negotiate with matatu drivers on behalf of other woman colleagues who were unwilling or unable to do so.
Three times the market rate for the cost of parts and labor for the broken light? Come on, two times? Doesn't matter that we had our mechanic on the phone with the policeman telling him how much everything costs on the market, the policeman just shrugged his shoulders, said, "It's raining, give him what he asks for."
After 30 minutes we accepted, "fine, here's your money," and I got the translator to translate him a lecture about him being a "very bad person" (I'm so eloquent, aren't I?). But then my boss and the colleague said "what about him hitting her?" What? When did this happen? Turns out when the two vehicles collided and the matatu driver left the car, he opened the car door of my colleague, grabbed her arm out and started hitting her arms and chest. Because I did not see that part of the incident I had no idea, but was obviously approaching the negotiations in entirely the wrong way. This new element was addressed with the policeman, who again shrugged his shoulders pointing skyward at the falling ran, and proceeded to walk away.
Given some of the proscribed gender roles in Southern Sudan, including the attitude that "If you pay cows for a woman, then of course you can beat her. If you want to give me your daughter for free, maybe we can talk." it's not surprising that we were treated this way.
Here in Southern Sudan, even though there are many different tribes, marriage customs are very similar. Generally men get married when they can afford to buy enough cows to give to the bride's family - a reverse dowry of sorts - which means they are usually in their late 20's when they marry for the first time. Men can have anywhere from 1 to 4 wives, although I've met men that have 10. Whole families help the man out (uncles, father, grandfather, etc) with the 20 to 150 cows depending on the wealth of the family and the community. Cows cost anywhere from $500 to $1,000 a head depending on the size of the cow. Generally, the larger and more crooked the horns, the better. The man pays for the wedding celebrations too. Women (often girls really) are anywhere from 15-20 when they get married, even if they are educated in other East African countries. Babies come immediately after marriage, and men can even "return" a woman to her family if she is unable to have children. This has a lot to do with society as a whole - I know women that have directly asked their husbands to marry a co-wife so they can share the burden of chores and raising children with another woman.
If it seems to you that women here are treated as commodities to be bought and sold, you're not the only one, and it is quite difficult to be here seeing it first hand.
Driving away from the incident, feeling sick inside, my stomach turned into a bottomless pit of guilt. What could I, should I, have done differently? The answer is nothing. There is nothing I could have said or done which would change how the policeman or the matatu driver viewed the situation. All they saw was a woman, and a broken headlight, and a target on which to...to...to what? To take out their frustration of having peace but not yet prosperity? To take advantage of an opportunity to make a quick and easy profit? To assert their "manliness"? To be fair there really is no way to know whether the incident was a result of them taking advantage of women or whether it was them taking advantage of khawajas (white people). Maybe a combination of both.
In the end, the policeman and driver paid for their mistake but not by our design. The colleague driving the car involved in the accident was here in Juba working for the Minister of Labour. She didn't want to say anything to the Minister, but a friend of hers did a few days later when her bruises started showing, and he proceeded to find out what happened, and find the people involved. The policeman was fired, and the matatu driver was arrested. God only knows what happens inside Sudanese prisons.
What are those two men thinking about now, looking back at things? Do they respect the fact that the law (written or not) saw them in the wrong? Will they become more bitter and act even worse if a similar incident happens again in the future? I'm not sure. But I do know that we all have a long, long way to go.
And next time, you'd better believe I will spend all day if I have to filing an official report with the police, no matter how futile the effort may seem at first.
"Hope will never be silent" ~Harvey Milk
Standing outside by the side of a Juba road in the rain on a Monday morning trying to negotiate with a drunken matatu driver on how much money we would pay him for his broken light after he ran into my colleague's vehicle was not how I wanted to start my week.
However, my boss obviously wanted me to deal with the situation, not this other woman, so for the second time since I've been here I was the one to negotiate with matatu drivers on behalf of other woman colleagues who were unwilling or unable to do so.
Three times the market rate for the cost of parts and labor for the broken light? Come on, two times? Doesn't matter that we had our mechanic on the phone with the policeman telling him how much everything costs on the market, the policeman just shrugged his shoulders, said, "It's raining, give him what he asks for."
After 30 minutes we accepted, "fine, here's your money," and I got the translator to translate him a lecture about him being a "very bad person" (I'm so eloquent, aren't I?). But then my boss and the colleague said "what about him hitting her?" What? When did this happen? Turns out when the two vehicles collided and the matatu driver left the car, he opened the car door of my colleague, grabbed her arm out and started hitting her arms and chest. Because I did not see that part of the incident I had no idea, but was obviously approaching the negotiations in entirely the wrong way. This new element was addressed with the policeman, who again shrugged his shoulders pointing skyward at the falling ran, and proceeded to walk away.
Given some of the proscribed gender roles in Southern Sudan, including the attitude that "If you pay cows for a woman, then of course you can beat her. If you want to give me your daughter for free, maybe we can talk." it's not surprising that we were treated this way.
Here in Southern Sudan, even though there are many different tribes, marriage customs are very similar. Generally men get married when they can afford to buy enough cows to give to the bride's family - a reverse dowry of sorts - which means they are usually in their late 20's when they marry for the first time. Men can have anywhere from 1 to 4 wives, although I've met men that have 10. Whole families help the man out (uncles, father, grandfather, etc) with the 20 to 150 cows depending on the wealth of the family and the community. Cows cost anywhere from $500 to $1,000 a head depending on the size of the cow. Generally, the larger and more crooked the horns, the better. The man pays for the wedding celebrations too. Women (often girls really) are anywhere from 15-20 when they get married, even if they are educated in other East African countries. Babies come immediately after marriage, and men can even "return" a woman to her family if she is unable to have children. This has a lot to do with society as a whole - I know women that have directly asked their husbands to marry a co-wife so they can share the burden of chores and raising children with another woman.
If it seems to you that women here are treated as commodities to be bought and sold, you're not the only one, and it is quite difficult to be here seeing it first hand.
Driving away from the incident, feeling sick inside, my stomach turned into a bottomless pit of guilt. What could I, should I, have done differently? The answer is nothing. There is nothing I could have said or done which would change how the policeman or the matatu driver viewed the situation. All they saw was a woman, and a broken headlight, and a target on which to...to...to what? To take out their frustration of having peace but not yet prosperity? To take advantage of an opportunity to make a quick and easy profit? To assert their "manliness"? To be fair there really is no way to know whether the incident was a result of them taking advantage of women or whether it was them taking advantage of khawajas (white people). Maybe a combination of both.
In the end, the policeman and driver paid for their mistake but not by our design. The colleague driving the car involved in the accident was here in Juba working for the Minister of Labour. She didn't want to say anything to the Minister, but a friend of hers did a few days later when her bruises started showing, and he proceeded to find out what happened, and find the people involved. The policeman was fired, and the matatu driver was arrested. God only knows what happens inside Sudanese prisons.
What are those two men thinking about now, looking back at things? Do they respect the fact that the law (written or not) saw them in the wrong? Will they become more bitter and act even worse if a similar incident happens again in the future? I'm not sure. But I do know that we all have a long, long way to go.
And next time, you'd better believe I will spend all day if I have to filing an official report with the police, no matter how futile the effort may seem at first.
"Hope will never be silent" ~Harvey Milk
Monday, October 13, 2008
things that affect your brain
Has it really been a month since I've written? It's quite insane how time flies. My blog is suffering as a result of one of my personality traits - when all is well I am very social, call and write people often, and generally reach out quite a bit. When things go wrong, or I am upset or depressed, I retreat into my own shell and tend to disappear for a bit.
My freshman year in college I had a friend named Liz. She was one of the wonderful women I met in the phase in my life where I attended frat parties in my PJs and drank cokes without any rum (was on my university's varsity soccer team and decided not to drink during the season). These boys were fantastic - they loved me all the more for my PJs and stocked up on cokes for me in their minifridges. Liz was always the most "grown up" of all of us - she held dinner parties for her friends and looked like she belonged on the red carpet even at a semi-formal dance. Some broke up with their boyfriends, some went to study abroad, and some, like Liz, morphed into a completely different person, taking on the likes, dislikes, and all characteristics of her new boyfriend. Basically, many of us grew apart. Fast forward to 4 years later - Liz was diagnosed with brain cancer. She went through surgery and treatment, beat it once, it went into remission, but then came back stronger. Liz was fading fast and I was getting updates from friends. One of whom which was her former roomate, but they had a falling out, and never really patched things up. I listened to her agonize over whether or not to send her a letter, and what it should say. What do you write to an estranged friend who is dying? In the end, Liz passed away before the letter was sent. We were all devastated. She was 24 years old.
On September 23, 2008, my friend Jason died after his own 4 year fight with brain cancer. I've never seen anyone fight for his life like he did. You can read about his life and amazing character on his blog, Team Jason. Towards the end, Jason was still incredibly upbeat, very focused on beating the cancer, and through his blog I BELIEVED he would win. His last post was just days before he died, and while very honest about the setbacks in his treatment, his attitude didn't miss a beat. Jason was the definition of an inspiration to all who knew him, and I know his memory lives on. This
is the last picture that was taken of Jason, days before he passed away (as appears on his blog). Still smiling and positive as always!
Please consider making donations in Jason’s honor to the Wellness Community of St. Louis at 1058 Old Des Peres Road St. Louis MO 63131. This organization helped Jason immensely during his 4 year battle.
This time, it was me who was left with an unsent letter. I had an unfinished email to Jason I started the week before but kept putting off saying "I'll send it when I have enough time to write a proper email." But, of course, that time never came and I am left with guilt. We were not estranged in any way, but it still hurt that I never got to say all the things I wanted. As time goes on I realize more and more that it is an extremely rare thing to be able to properly say goodbye to someone and to say everything that needs to be said. A very rare thing indeed. My mother never got to say goodbye to her father, who also died of cancer, and that is something I think about a lot, how painful that must have been. But what can you do except vow to seize the moment and tell people who matter to you that you love them? I am going to try, that's for sure.
Is it strange that I have had 2 of my friends, both under the age of 26, die from the same kind of brain cancer in the past 3 years? Last time I went to get my eyes checked the opthamologist offered me some sort of a test that looks at your eye and can somehow tell if you have a brain tumor (don't ask me how this works), albeit with the statement "you're young so you probably don't have to worry about this and the test is optional." You'd better believe I got that test right quick.
Which brings us back to Sudan. I came down with malaria this past week, and althought (thankfully) it was not cerebral malaria, one of the symptoms among many including high fevers, chills, joint pain, and achiness, are headaches. Mine have kept going even though I finished my medication on Saturday. All this means is that I need to drink more water, but with each nightly throb (usually when the headaches arrive) it reminds me of all the strange and incomprehensible things that go on up there, and how lucky I am.
Is that strange and morbid?
Sorry, it's been that kind of month.
Soon to come: happier posts about my new diggs, new friends, and some upcoming travel!
My freshman year in college I had a friend named Liz. She was one of the wonderful women I met in the phase in my life where I attended frat parties in my PJs and drank cokes without any rum (was on my university's varsity soccer team and decided not to drink during the season). These boys were fantastic - they loved me all the more for my PJs and stocked up on cokes for me in their minifridges. Liz was always the most "grown up" of all of us - she held dinner parties for her friends and looked like she belonged on the red carpet even at a semi-formal dance. Some broke up with their boyfriends, some went to study abroad, and some, like Liz, morphed into a completely different person, taking on the likes, dislikes, and all characteristics of her new boyfriend. Basically, many of us grew apart. Fast forward to 4 years later - Liz was diagnosed with brain cancer. She went through surgery and treatment, beat it once, it went into remission, but then came back stronger. Liz was fading fast and I was getting updates from friends. One of whom which was her former roomate, but they had a falling out, and never really patched things up. I listened to her agonize over whether or not to send her a letter, and what it should say. What do you write to an estranged friend who is dying? In the end, Liz passed away before the letter was sent. We were all devastated. She was 24 years old.
On September 23, 2008, my friend Jason died after his own 4 year fight with brain cancer. I've never seen anyone fight for his life like he did. You can read about his life and amazing character on his blog, Team Jason. Towards the end, Jason was still incredibly upbeat, very focused on beating the cancer, and through his blog I BELIEVED he would win. His last post was just days before he died, and while very honest about the setbacks in his treatment, his attitude didn't miss a beat. Jason was the definition of an inspiration to all who knew him, and I know his memory lives on. This
is the last picture that was taken of Jason, days before he passed away (as appears on his blog). Still smiling and positive as always!Please consider making donations in Jason’s honor to the Wellness Community of St. Louis at 1058 Old Des Peres Road St. Louis MO 63131. This organization helped Jason immensely during his 4 year battle.
This time, it was me who was left with an unsent letter. I had an unfinished email to Jason I started the week before but kept putting off saying "I'll send it when I have enough time to write a proper email." But, of course, that time never came and I am left with guilt. We were not estranged in any way, but it still hurt that I never got to say all the things I wanted. As time goes on I realize more and more that it is an extremely rare thing to be able to properly say goodbye to someone and to say everything that needs to be said. A very rare thing indeed. My mother never got to say goodbye to her father, who also died of cancer, and that is something I think about a lot, how painful that must have been. But what can you do except vow to seize the moment and tell people who matter to you that you love them? I am going to try, that's for sure.
Is it strange that I have had 2 of my friends, both under the age of 26, die from the same kind of brain cancer in the past 3 years? Last time I went to get my eyes checked the opthamologist offered me some sort of a test that looks at your eye and can somehow tell if you have a brain tumor (don't ask me how this works), albeit with the statement "you're young so you probably don't have to worry about this and the test is optional." You'd better believe I got that test right quick.
Which brings us back to Sudan. I came down with malaria this past week, and althought (thankfully) it was not cerebral malaria, one of the symptoms among many including high fevers, chills, joint pain, and achiness, are headaches. Mine have kept going even though I finished my medication on Saturday. All this means is that I need to drink more water, but with each nightly throb (usually when the headaches arrive) it reminds me of all the strange and incomprehensible things that go on up there, and how lucky I am.
Is that strange and morbid?
Sorry, it's been that kind of month.
Soon to come: happier posts about my new diggs, new friends, and some upcoming travel!
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Lack of Coordination
Sometimes I just want to scream. There is a certain organization working here (let's call them Org A) who runs over a dozen VCT (Voluntary Counselling and Testing for HIV) sites. Keeping in mind that care and support services to people who are HIV+ are extremely limited currently in Southern Sudan, this area happens to have an ART center (anti-retroviral therapy - drugs which slow down HIV's effect on a person's immune system). However, there had been no paediatric HIV programs anywhere in the area, or so they thought. At an HIV Partners Meeting a couple weeks ago, another organization (let's call them Org B) stated in a presentation that they were running a PMTCT program (this stands for Prevention of Mother to Child Transmission of HIV) at the same facility (a private hospital) where Org A was providing VCT services. The true definition of a PMTCT program is one that tests pregnant woman for HIV (called ANC testing) as well as the administration of Nevirapine, the drug that when administered in a single dose to both mother and child, reduces the rate of HIV transmission by almost 50%. Up until this point, the common knowledge was that there was no one administering Nevirapine in Southern Sudan, so all the pregnant women who test positive for HIV had to be referred to Uganda.
So the representation from Org A was quite surprised to hear that Org B was claiming to be running a true PMTCT program, in the same site as one of their own programs nonetheless. So after some inquiries on the part of Org A, it turns out that Org B was indeed administering Nevirapine, about 9 doses per month. The problem is, Org A didn't know about this, the heads of the org running the private hospital didn't know about this, the ART center in the area didn't know about this, the County AIDS Department didn't know about this, and the Ministry of Health at the County, State and National level didn't know about this. NO ONE did.
Any explanation I can think of for why Org B was not making this known does not hold water. If they were afraid the demand would be greater than their supply, then they should be screaming at donors and the Ministry of Health for more supplies. Org A told me that they would be able to find money for the drugs, it's just that they have no personnel trained on its administration. If that was the case, they could have bought the drugs for Org B. Had they known.
So what has happened is that dozens of HIV+ women each month were being referred to Uganda (when not many of these women even have ID cards let alone a passport) when the life-saving service they need is available in their same county and has been FOR A WHOLE YEAR.
This is CRIMINAL!
There is enough that is difficult about working in Southern Sudan, but there is no excuse for this lack of coordination and partnership, especially from an organization who is always present at partners meetings, etc. It makes me ill.
So the representation from Org A was quite surprised to hear that Org B was claiming to be running a true PMTCT program, in the same site as one of their own programs nonetheless. So after some inquiries on the part of Org A, it turns out that Org B was indeed administering Nevirapine, about 9 doses per month. The problem is, Org A didn't know about this, the heads of the org running the private hospital didn't know about this, the ART center in the area didn't know about this, the County AIDS Department didn't know about this, and the Ministry of Health at the County, State and National level didn't know about this. NO ONE did.
Any explanation I can think of for why Org B was not making this known does not hold water. If they were afraid the demand would be greater than their supply, then they should be screaming at donors and the Ministry of Health for more supplies. Org A told me that they would be able to find money for the drugs, it's just that they have no personnel trained on its administration. If that was the case, they could have bought the drugs for Org B. Had they known.
So what has happened is that dozens of HIV+ women each month were being referred to Uganda (when not many of these women even have ID cards let alone a passport) when the life-saving service they need is available in their same county and has been FOR A WHOLE YEAR.
This is CRIMINAL!
There is enough that is difficult about working in Southern Sudan, but there is no excuse for this lack of coordination and partnership, especially from an organization who is always present at partners meetings, etc. It makes me ill.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Cowardice
My heart goes out to the friends, family and colleagues of the four International Rescue Committee (IRC) employees who were killed during an ambush attack on their convoy earlier this week in Afghanistan.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/7560187.stm
In he last paragraph of the article above, the Canadian Prime Minister (nationality of several of the victims) called the attack "cowardly." That's exactly what it was. What kind of a coward do you have to be to spray a vehicle carrying 3 unarmed people with bullets? The Associated Press has a video interviewing the one driver that survived (I can't find it again, if anyone can let me know and I'll post the link), and all he kept exclaiming was "They were unarmed! They were unarmed! They were just here to help us, they weren't from here, they were unarmed!" I guess from his (an Afghan) perspective, it's one thing to kill someone, but quite another to figuratively (or maybe literally) shoot someone in the back.
There are several current and former IRC employees here in Sudan (one of whom is a good friend of mine), and because most people in our line of work move around quite frequently from year to year (my organization is the only one I've found to require 2 and 3 year contracts!), and it's hard to keep track of everyone, this news sparked a flurry of facebook, email, and chat messages saying "Where are you? Who is in Afghanistan now?" I'm sure that when the news was announced, before they reported the identity of the people, everyone's mouth went dry and got a sinking feeling in the pit of their stomach. Not to mention the poor families of the IRC employees in the Afghanistan office! Word on the street is that IRC had difficulty contacting the families, so all of them must have been watching the news and freaking out because who knows when the phone rings if it is your child/sibling/parent on the other line or someone from IRC HQ telling you that your worst fears are realized?
The video clip in the BCC article shows the coffins being brought from the authorities back to the IRC office. Can you imagine offloading your colleague's coffin into your fenced, guarded compound? Or, God forbid, one of your staff? I think that is my worst nightmare, having one of my staff killed while traveling for work. Expats are one thing, we choose to do the work we do in sometimes unstable places, and (hopefully) for the most part realize the risks involved. There are many reasons people from countries like the US, Europe and Australia do this kind of work, but let's not pretend it is purely altruistic. It isn't "just" to help people. We like living in random corners of the globe and the often difficult work we do, and while people definitely have some sort of a calling to make the world a better place, it's not purely about "service." But national staff is a different story.
I'd like to think that everyone who works for me is truly committed in helping to build their country and improve the health status of people, and I can say for the most part that is true (I have some FANTASTIC and committed people working for me) but what I've noticed here in Sudan is that in most areas NGO jobs are the only jobs that exist. There is little to no private sector other than trading, and in Juba we live in a false economy of international NGO, UN, and private sector people who are catered to by services owned and run by Kenyans and Ugandans who import their staff from Kenya and Uganda as well. This drives up prices and makes the cost of living insane - you cannot find a hotel room for less than $120 per night (and that is a prefab container. tents in town go for $150 a night), and you can't have dinner for less than $20. But I digress.
In most cases NGOs are just another employer, a way to support your family. Yes, health care and education and economic development are important to people, but those things in the end come second to finding a job and feeding your family. I have the choice of going into any profession I choose and in the US be able to find all sorts of jobs that don't involve living in a tent in an area where landmines are still being uncovered and the UN imposes a curfew. People here don't have that choice - NGOs are the only available option.
So the driver that worked with IRC in Afghanistan was probably just trying to feed his family and wouldn't say no to driving along a stretch of arguably unstable road. And for that, he lost his life.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/7560187.stm
In he last paragraph of the article above, the Canadian Prime Minister (nationality of several of the victims) called the attack "cowardly." That's exactly what it was. What kind of a coward do you have to be to spray a vehicle carrying 3 unarmed people with bullets? The Associated Press has a video interviewing the one driver that survived (I can't find it again, if anyone can let me know and I'll post the link), and all he kept exclaiming was "They were unarmed! They were unarmed! They were just here to help us, they weren't from here, they were unarmed!" I guess from his (an Afghan) perspective, it's one thing to kill someone, but quite another to figuratively (or maybe literally) shoot someone in the back.
There are several current and former IRC employees here in Sudan (one of whom is a good friend of mine), and because most people in our line of work move around quite frequently from year to year (my organization is the only one I've found to require 2 and 3 year contracts!), and it's hard to keep track of everyone, this news sparked a flurry of facebook, email, and chat messages saying "Where are you? Who is in Afghanistan now?" I'm sure that when the news was announced, before they reported the identity of the people, everyone's mouth went dry and got a sinking feeling in the pit of their stomach. Not to mention the poor families of the IRC employees in the Afghanistan office! Word on the street is that IRC had difficulty contacting the families, so all of them must have been watching the news and freaking out because who knows when the phone rings if it is your child/sibling/parent on the other line or someone from IRC HQ telling you that your worst fears are realized?
The video clip in the BCC article shows the coffins being brought from the authorities back to the IRC office. Can you imagine offloading your colleague's coffin into your fenced, guarded compound? Or, God forbid, one of your staff? I think that is my worst nightmare, having one of my staff killed while traveling for work. Expats are one thing, we choose to do the work we do in sometimes unstable places, and (hopefully) for the most part realize the risks involved. There are many reasons people from countries like the US, Europe and Australia do this kind of work, but let's not pretend it is purely altruistic. It isn't "just" to help people. We like living in random corners of the globe and the often difficult work we do, and while people definitely have some sort of a calling to make the world a better place, it's not purely about "service." But national staff is a different story.
I'd like to think that everyone who works for me is truly committed in helping to build their country and improve the health status of people, and I can say for the most part that is true (I have some FANTASTIC and committed people working for me) but what I've noticed here in Sudan is that in most areas NGO jobs are the only jobs that exist. There is little to no private sector other than trading, and in Juba we live in a false economy of international NGO, UN, and private sector people who are catered to by services owned and run by Kenyans and Ugandans who import their staff from Kenya and Uganda as well. This drives up prices and makes the cost of living insane - you cannot find a hotel room for less than $120 per night (and that is a prefab container. tents in town go for $150 a night), and you can't have dinner for less than $20. But I digress.
In most cases NGOs are just another employer, a way to support your family. Yes, health care and education and economic development are important to people, but those things in the end come second to finding a job and feeding your family. I have the choice of going into any profession I choose and in the US be able to find all sorts of jobs that don't involve living in a tent in an area where landmines are still being uncovered and the UN imposes a curfew. People here don't have that choice - NGOs are the only available option.
So the driver that worked with IRC in Afghanistan was probably just trying to feed his family and wouldn't say no to driving along a stretch of arguably unstable road. And for that, he lost his life.
Monday, July 14, 2008
ICC
In case you haven't seen it on the news yet, the International Criminal Court (ICC), announced that they are going to present evidence to indict President Bashir and other senior gov't officials in Khartoum for War Crimes in Darfur. Nevermind that the Sudanese gov't refuses to hand over the two officials indicted by the ICC last year. Also, on July 8th, a group of UN peackeepers in Darfur were attacked - 7 were killed and 22 seriously injured. Nobody has claimed responsibility for it but the rumors are that even thoughthe government blames the rebel groups, the gov't themselves very well may have planned or at least known about the attack to warn the UN in response to the threats by the ICC.
In the end, although the ICC has good intentions and indicting a head of state has never been done historically, is a good outcome possible or even realistic? The answer to that is complicated, and is something that many of us struggle with. It is clear that the situation will not improve unless something changes, but if the choice is between a) taking international legal action against a despotic, fanatic, criminal head of state (who will most likely try to run) which risks the lives of tens of thousands of people who depend on the humanitarian aid provided by the UN, not to mention destabilizing the peace process, and c) continuing the long, slow, painful and dubiously successful peace process, what do you do?
Right now it seems that there there is no way things are going to turn out well, unless the ICC retracts their statement. The cynics here are saying that there's nothing interesting going on right now, so the UN has to justify their salaries by doing something, because they can't concentrate on China and for some reason won't concentrate on Zimbabwe/South Africa. It's hard to see connections and correlations and see the UN as one body when its policies/implementation is soooo scattered. As a result of recent events, the US Embassy has started pulling people out, UN is at security level III here so may start pulling out people soon too, and Darfur isat level IV in Darfur. However, none of the UN personnel in Juba are actually following level III protocol (they're still going to work, driving around in marked UN vehicles, etc) because no one has any clue what they're doing. There are more UN forces in the south than Khartoum, but the ones that are in Khartoum have a higher intel capacity. Yes, people are rioting in Khartoum, but the demographic of people that are the ones rioting don't exist here in Juba, so there's no problem.
Basically, because news of the ICC list leaked out, it destabilizes the whole UN presence in Darfur and the South. If the UN goes, so does all the humanitarian aid and many, many more people will die before peace comes again. Also, if Bashir throws the UN out of Sudan, that includes the South, since he is still technically President over the whole territory of Sudan. If he tells Salva Kiir, "I hope you got the memo about the UN being thrown out of the country" and Salva Kiir hesitates in complying, Bashir could be justified in making that an excuse to claim the South is engaging the North, and there goes the CPA and the peace process. Plus the SPLM (main political party in the South) is weak internally right now, so that doesn't help things one bit.
For some more background, this article by Alex de Waal (FABULOUS writer/reporter on all things Sudan) talks a bit more about the implications of the UN presence in Sudan.
Basically, it is a bit of a depressing time right now. Things are a bit of a mish mash at the moment and everyone is waiting to hear what will happen by Wednesday.
In the end, although the ICC has good intentions and indicting a head of state has never been done historically, is a good outcome possible or even realistic? The answer to that is complicated, and is something that many of us struggle with. It is clear that the situation will not improve unless something changes, but if the choice is between a) taking international legal action against a despotic, fanatic, criminal head of state (who will most likely try to run) which risks the lives of tens of thousands of people who depend on the humanitarian aid provided by the UN, not to mention destabilizing the peace process, and c) continuing the long, slow, painful and dubiously successful peace process, what do you do?
Right now it seems that there there is no way things are going to turn out well, unless the ICC retracts their statement. The cynics here are saying that there's nothing interesting going on right now, so the UN has to justify their salaries by doing something, because they can't concentrate on China and for some reason won't concentrate on Zimbabwe/South Africa. It's hard to see connections and correlations and see the UN as one body when its policies/implementation is soooo scattered. As a result of recent events, the US Embassy has started pulling people out, UN is at security level III here so may start pulling out people soon too, and Darfur isat level IV in Darfur. However, none of the UN personnel in Juba are actually following level III protocol (they're still going to work, driving around in marked UN vehicles, etc) because no one has any clue what they're doing. There are more UN forces in the south than Khartoum, but the ones that are in Khartoum have a higher intel capacity. Yes, people are rioting in Khartoum, but the demographic of people that are the ones rioting don't exist here in Juba, so there's no problem.
Basically, because news of the ICC list leaked out, it destabilizes the whole UN presence in Darfur and the South. If the UN goes, so does all the humanitarian aid and many, many more people will die before peace comes again. Also, if Bashir throws the UN out of Sudan, that includes the South, since he is still technically President over the whole territory of Sudan. If he tells Salva Kiir, "I hope you got the memo about the UN being thrown out of the country" and Salva Kiir hesitates in complying, Bashir could be justified in making that an excuse to claim the South is engaging the North, and there goes the CPA and the peace process. Plus the SPLM (main political party in the South) is weak internally right now, so that doesn't help things one bit.
For some more background, this article by Alex de Waal (FABULOUS writer/reporter on all things Sudan) talks a bit more about the implications of the UN presence in Sudan.
Basically, it is a bit of a depressing time right now. Things are a bit of a mish mash at the moment and everyone is waiting to hear what will happen by Wednesday.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Violence against women - Sudan vs. the US
Maybe it's because at the moment I've been working on writing a section for one of our peer education manuals on the link between Gender Based Violence and HIV, but I'm feeling rather militant today so you all now have to deal with it.
Here's a stat for you: In Sudan, a girl is more likely to die in childbirth than to complete primary school.
Think about that for a moment.
In Sudan:
91% of women have no formal education
94% of women cannot read or write
99.8% of womenhave no electricity
87% of women do not have running water
40% of women report having been beaten
93% of women have lost at least one family member
68% of women of married women live in a polygamous marriage*
I consider this to be violence against women.
I've also felt the need to put up a few more annectodes that I think point out the attitude towards violence here in Sudan - especially violence against women. The same person who was involved in the lashing story from last year left the office for about 4 hours yesterday without letting anyone know where he was going. This is the second time this has happened so when he came back I asked him what was up. His story was this:
His sister was 5 months pregnant, and is not on good terms with her co-wife (it is very common here for people to have up to 4 wives). Yesterday the co-wife called his sister up on the phone and started insulting her and they had a fight over the phone. I don't know about what. So his sister then went to the house, where the co-wife proceded to beat her up, even though she was pregnant. She ended up miscarrying the child. The reason why he left the office was to help her file a court case against the co-wife. This is incredibly sad, but then he was calling his sister "not smart" and blaming because she went to the house to confront the co-wife even though she was pregnant!!!
Thank God that at least in the US, biggest donor of aid to social justice programs around the world, they have equal rights and respect for women everywhere. Oh, that's right, NO THEY DON'T!!! It's easy here in Sudan to think that these problems are unique and that women in more "developed" societies have it made. In a lot of ways, it's true. At 25 years old I am able to choose my partner and whether or not to get married, I am well educated, I have a job in the field of my choice and am financially independent, and can do pretty much whatever I want with my life, wherever in the world I fancy. Would I have this choice if I was born in Sudan? The answer is a resounding "no". If I was a Sudanese woman, I would be married with at least 2 or 3 children, my husband would have at least 1 other wife, I would not have gone to school so would probably not be able to even write my own name (many people's signatures here are actually their thumbprint). I would be expected to run my household and raise my children with the little money left over on pay day from my husband's drinking sprees. I would never have even seen a doctor or other trained medical provider other than a community health worker - that is if I was allowed by my husband to see one - and would probaly be born, live and die in the same town.
But there are also stories of hope here. Last week we had the launch of one of our programs in Yei, Lainya and Morobo counties, which included training people living with HIV as peer educators. As we were standing in the yard before the event, one of our facilitators pointed out a woman wearing a red dress with yellow flowers who was seated with a few other women. She said this woman was one of the peer educators who participated in the workshop, she was HIV positive and so was her 2 year old child. Halfway through the workshop her child passed away while being carried on her back. The child was literally fine in the morning, seemingly healthy and laughing, but by the afternoon had passed away, with no indication of how. After only 2 days of grieving, this woman returned to the workshop and participated for the rest of the sessions, determined to get all the information about staying healthy that she could so she could pass it on to others in her community.
Today Washington University in St. Louis, my alma matter, is holding the commencement ceremony for the Class of 2008. Also today, they are awarding Phyllis Schlafley an honorary doctorate, and Chris Matthews is the commencement speaker. Hear that? It's the sound of my head exploding. Read this excellent piece by Katha Pollitt published in The Nation which echoes exactly how I feel about the situation.
Backlash Spectacular
by Katha Pollitt
The Nation "
Washington University is giving Phyllis Schlafly an honorary doctorate. Let me run that by you again. Washington University, the distinguished 155-year-old seat of higher learning in St. Louis, is giving an honorary degree to Phyllis Schlafly--archfoe of the Equal Rights Amendment, the United Nations, Darwinism and other newfangled notions, and the promoter of innumerable crackpot far-right conspiracy theories who called the Bomb "a marvelous gift that was given to our country by a wise God." Her eighty-two years haven't mellowed her one bit: last year she blamed the Virginia Tech massacre on the English department; called intellectual men "liberal slobs"; advocated banning women from traditionally male occupations like construction, firefighting and the military; and defended men's property rights over their wives' vaginas ("by getting married, the woman has consented to sex, and I don't think you can call it rape"). The campus is in an uproar, and no wonder. After four years of hard work, female seniors get to watch their school honor someone who thinks they should park their diplomas in the kitchen sink. Washington U might as well bring in mad misogynist Chris Matthews as commencement speaker. Oh. You mean...? No!Yes.
Tell me the backlash against feminism isn't crackling up a storm. I tryto keep my eye on the big picture and the bottom line: education, employment, autonomy, power. Surely, I tell myself, the fact that half of all new med students are female is more important than Paris Hilton's omnipresent visage; that a woman has made the first viable run for the presidency says more about the United States than that media clowns like Matthews basically call her a crazy castrating bitch on a daily basis; or that Caitlin Flanagan, smarmy enemy of working mothers (and another big believer in compulsory sex for wives), won a National Magazine Award for reviews and criticism.
But sometimes I think we're truly going backward, as Republican hegemony, conservative Christianity and anti-feminist media propaganda take their cumulative toll. All those judges, all that money, all that shock jockery, all those magazines obsessively following stars' weight and baby bumps: it would be strange if they had no effect. As far as concrete setbacks go, look no further than the case of Lilly Ledbetter, whose right to sue for pay discrimination was denied by the Supreme Court last May. In a 5-to-4 decision, the Justices overturned the standard interpretation of existing law to declare that Ledbetter was twenty years too late: the victim of pay discrimination must sue within six months of the initial discriminatory act--never mind whether she knew about it (many employers, including Ledbetter's, forbid workers from discussing their salaries; she found out she was paid less than any man at her level from an anonymous tip). Given the realities of life, the Court has given employers the nod to pay women less, as long as they can keep the women in the dark for 180 days. In April a bill to restore women's right to sue failed in the Senate, 56-to-42, because for some reason everything now needs sixty votes to become law. John McCain said the bill would lead to too many lawsuits (hello? all it would have done was restore the law we'd lived with for forty-four years); what women needed was more "education and training." Because right now, women are just too dumb to merit equal pay. As Dahlia Lithwick wrote in a coruscating piece in Slate, if women take this sitting down, maybe they really are dumb.
The suspicion that women are dim would explain why Oklahoma has just passed a law requiring not only that women seeking abortions be forced to view sonograms of their fetuses but that the picture be taken in the way most likely to reveal the clearest picture--often up their vaginas. In other antichoice news, an abortion ban will be on the ballot again in South Dakota, this time with narrow exceptions for rape and incest. And mark June 7 on your calendar--it's Protest the Pill day, brought to you by the American Life League and other antichoice groups, which claim, despite the evidence, that "the Pill kills babies" by preventing implantation of fertilized eggs. Maybe it's good that the antichoice movement is outing itself as opposed to contraception, as prochoicers have long maintained and not many pundits have noted--but it also shows that they believe they can come out of the closet and not be dismissed as lunatics. Look for more struggles over government birth-control funding--already way down, thanks to budget cuts and inflation--as the antichoicers move the goal posts of how "life" is defined.
Yes, women are still making gains in education and--slowly--in politics and other areas. But long standing feminist gains are eroding: battered women's shelters, for example, are closing for lack of funds. And the advances haven't made the difference once hoped for. There are more powerful female Hollywood executives than ever, but as Manohla Dargis pointed out in a splendid rant (her word) in the New York Times, the movies are relentlessly male-focused: the conventional Hollywood wisdom is "Women can't direct. Women can't open movies. Women are a niche." Culturally, there's misogyny wherever you look: Grand Theft Auto IV, which offers players the opportunity to have sex with prostitutes and kill them, got rave reviews and is expected to have $500 million in sales its first week out. If there's a pro-woman cultural event with that kind of reach and impact, I'd like to hear about it. It certainly wouldn't be Vanity Fair's photo of tween icon Miley Cyrus, clad in nothing but a bedsheet at all of 15 years old--or the daily media onslaught urging women to focus on their babies like a Zen master contemplating a rock--when not taking pole-dancing lessons, getting Botoxed or catching up on the latest "studies" purporting to prove that they lack the drive and brains to do anything better with their brief time on earth. Feminism, please call home!"
*Source: Women for Women International
Here's a stat for you: In Sudan, a girl is more likely to die in childbirth than to complete primary school.
Think about that for a moment.
In Sudan:
91% of women have no formal education
94% of women cannot read or write
99.8% of womenhave no electricity
87% of women do not have running water
40% of women report having been beaten
93% of women have lost at least one family member
68% of women of married women live in a polygamous marriage*
I consider this to be violence against women.
I've also felt the need to put up a few more annectodes that I think point out the attitude towards violence here in Sudan - especially violence against women. The same person who was involved in the lashing story from last year left the office for about 4 hours yesterday without letting anyone know where he was going. This is the second time this has happened so when he came back I asked him what was up. His story was this:
His sister was 5 months pregnant, and is not on good terms with her co-wife (it is very common here for people to have up to 4 wives). Yesterday the co-wife called his sister up on the phone and started insulting her and they had a fight over the phone. I don't know about what. So his sister then went to the house, where the co-wife proceded to beat her up, even though she was pregnant. She ended up miscarrying the child. The reason why he left the office was to help her file a court case against the co-wife. This is incredibly sad, but then he was calling his sister "not smart" and blaming because she went to the house to confront the co-wife even though she was pregnant!!!
Thank God that at least in the US, biggest donor of aid to social justice programs around the world, they have equal rights and respect for women everywhere. Oh, that's right, NO THEY DON'T!!! It's easy here in Sudan to think that these problems are unique and that women in more "developed" societies have it made. In a lot of ways, it's true. At 25 years old I am able to choose my partner and whether or not to get married, I am well educated, I have a job in the field of my choice and am financially independent, and can do pretty much whatever I want with my life, wherever in the world I fancy. Would I have this choice if I was born in Sudan? The answer is a resounding "no". If I was a Sudanese woman, I would be married with at least 2 or 3 children, my husband would have at least 1 other wife, I would not have gone to school so would probably not be able to even write my own name (many people's signatures here are actually their thumbprint). I would be expected to run my household and raise my children with the little money left over on pay day from my husband's drinking sprees. I would never have even seen a doctor or other trained medical provider other than a community health worker - that is if I was allowed by my husband to see one - and would probaly be born, live and die in the same town.
But there are also stories of hope here. Last week we had the launch of one of our programs in Yei, Lainya and Morobo counties, which included training people living with HIV as peer educators. As we were standing in the yard before the event, one of our facilitators pointed out a woman wearing a red dress with yellow flowers who was seated with a few other women. She said this woman was one of the peer educators who participated in the workshop, she was HIV positive and so was her 2 year old child. Halfway through the workshop her child passed away while being carried on her back. The child was literally fine in the morning, seemingly healthy and laughing, but by the afternoon had passed away, with no indication of how. After only 2 days of grieving, this woman returned to the workshop and participated for the rest of the sessions, determined to get all the information about staying healthy that she could so she could pass it on to others in her community.
Today Washington University in St. Louis, my alma matter, is holding the commencement ceremony for the Class of 2008. Also today, they are awarding Phyllis Schlafley an honorary doctorate, and Chris Matthews is the commencement speaker. Hear that? It's the sound of my head exploding. Read this excellent piece by Katha Pollitt published in The Nation which echoes exactly how I feel about the situation.
Backlash Spectacular
by Katha Pollitt
The Nation "
Washington University is giving Phyllis Schlafly an honorary doctorate. Let me run that by you again. Washington University, the distinguished 155-year-old seat of higher learning in St. Louis, is giving an honorary degree to Phyllis Schlafly--archfoe of the Equal Rights Amendment, the United Nations, Darwinism and other newfangled notions, and the promoter of innumerable crackpot far-right conspiracy theories who called the Bomb "a marvelous gift that was given to our country by a wise God." Her eighty-two years haven't mellowed her one bit: last year she blamed the Virginia Tech massacre on the English department; called intellectual men "liberal slobs"; advocated banning women from traditionally male occupations like construction, firefighting and the military; and defended men's property rights over their wives' vaginas ("by getting married, the woman has consented to sex, and I don't think you can call it rape"). The campus is in an uproar, and no wonder. After four years of hard work, female seniors get to watch their school honor someone who thinks they should park their diplomas in the kitchen sink. Washington U might as well bring in mad misogynist Chris Matthews as commencement speaker. Oh. You mean...? No!Yes.
Tell me the backlash against feminism isn't crackling up a storm. I tryto keep my eye on the big picture and the bottom line: education, employment, autonomy, power. Surely, I tell myself, the fact that half of all new med students are female is more important than Paris Hilton's omnipresent visage; that a woman has made the first viable run for the presidency says more about the United States than that media clowns like Matthews basically call her a crazy castrating bitch on a daily basis; or that Caitlin Flanagan, smarmy enemy of working mothers (and another big believer in compulsory sex for wives), won a National Magazine Award for reviews and criticism.
But sometimes I think we're truly going backward, as Republican hegemony, conservative Christianity and anti-feminist media propaganda take their cumulative toll. All those judges, all that money, all that shock jockery, all those magazines obsessively following stars' weight and baby bumps: it would be strange if they had no effect. As far as concrete setbacks go, look no further than the case of Lilly Ledbetter, whose right to sue for pay discrimination was denied by the Supreme Court last May. In a 5-to-4 decision, the Justices overturned the standard interpretation of existing law to declare that Ledbetter was twenty years too late: the victim of pay discrimination must sue within six months of the initial discriminatory act--never mind whether she knew about it (many employers, including Ledbetter's, forbid workers from discussing their salaries; she found out she was paid less than any man at her level from an anonymous tip). Given the realities of life, the Court has given employers the nod to pay women less, as long as they can keep the women in the dark for 180 days. In April a bill to restore women's right to sue failed in the Senate, 56-to-42, because for some reason everything now needs sixty votes to become law. John McCain said the bill would lead to too many lawsuits (hello? all it would have done was restore the law we'd lived with for forty-four years); what women needed was more "education and training." Because right now, women are just too dumb to merit equal pay. As Dahlia Lithwick wrote in a coruscating piece in Slate, if women take this sitting down, maybe they really are dumb.
The suspicion that women are dim would explain why Oklahoma has just passed a law requiring not only that women seeking abortions be forced to view sonograms of their fetuses but that the picture be taken in the way most likely to reveal the clearest picture--often up their vaginas. In other antichoice news, an abortion ban will be on the ballot again in South Dakota, this time with narrow exceptions for rape and incest. And mark June 7 on your calendar--it's Protest the Pill day, brought to you by the American Life League and other antichoice groups, which claim, despite the evidence, that "the Pill kills babies" by preventing implantation of fertilized eggs. Maybe it's good that the antichoice movement is outing itself as opposed to contraception, as prochoicers have long maintained and not many pundits have noted--but it also shows that they believe they can come out of the closet and not be dismissed as lunatics. Look for more struggles over government birth-control funding--already way down, thanks to budget cuts and inflation--as the antichoicers move the goal posts of how "life" is defined.
Yes, women are still making gains in education and--slowly--in politics and other areas. But long standing feminist gains are eroding: battered women's shelters, for example, are closing for lack of funds. And the advances haven't made the difference once hoped for. There are more powerful female Hollywood executives than ever, but as Manohla Dargis pointed out in a splendid rant (her word) in the New York Times, the movies are relentlessly male-focused: the conventional Hollywood wisdom is "Women can't direct. Women can't open movies. Women are a niche." Culturally, there's misogyny wherever you look: Grand Theft Auto IV, which offers players the opportunity to have sex with prostitutes and kill them, got rave reviews and is expected to have $500 million in sales its first week out. If there's a pro-woman cultural event with that kind of reach and impact, I'd like to hear about it. It certainly wouldn't be Vanity Fair's photo of tween icon Miley Cyrus, clad in nothing but a bedsheet at all of 15 years old--or the daily media onslaught urging women to focus on their babies like a Zen master contemplating a rock--when not taking pole-dancing lessons, getting Botoxed or catching up on the latest "studies" purporting to prove that they lack the drive and brains to do anything better with their brief time on earth. Feminism, please call home!"
*Source: Women for Women International
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Travel and Iodized Salt consumption
Today the first ever Sudan Household Health Survey report was officially launched - this is the first research study of its kind encompasing all of Sudan since 1983. While the statistics were staggeringly horrible (the only health indicator that is stronger in the South than in the North is iodized salt consumption), the launch event itself was absolutely hilarious. Keep in mind that this was a high-level, Ministry of Health/Government event which was attended by the Vice President of Southern Sudan, Ministries, consulates, UN officials, NGOs, etc.
In the echoey main hall of the Beijing Juba Hotel, the dissemination started with a reception where printouts of graphs showing the indicators by state with labels hand-drawn in red marker were taped to the walls . Local artist John Junub lip-synched songs he had written with themes drawn from the health indicators being presented while 5 men in work attire plus one kid in a torn t-shirt danced on the stage next to him.
The ceremony started with a procession by all the VIPs. The opening remarks were all "Your Excellency" this, and "Your Excellency" that, and then the MC asked all the VIPs, who up until this point were all sitting at a panelist table facing the audience, to move chairs into the audience so they could see the Power Point Presentation that was prepared. At which time 2 chinese men hastily hoised up a white bedsheet with lengths of blue wire, which then hung lopsidedly between two pillars. A Power Point Presentation graced with cheezy clip art projected on the sheet which awkwardly billowed from the air of the ceiling fans. Awesome.
But in all seriousness, it is fabulous that this report is out, because now we can base our program design on solid reseach and hopefully measure progress, i.e. whether or not the work we are doing is effective compared to the data in this baseline.
The normal questions that you get asked every day by every expat you meet here in Juba have recently changed! The famous list of 3, which you cannot have a conversation without either asking or being asked,
1. Where are you from?
2. Who do you work for?
3. How long are you going to be in Juba?
has been replaced with simply "When are you leaving for the holidays?"
And when am I leaving for the holdiays? TOMORROW!!!!! Booyah. Nairobi tomorrow where I get to see the boy (he's from Nairobi originally), flight to London Thursday, and back in NY on Friday. Where I will go almost immediately to see Stefan, the hairdresser extroardinaire (my Mom has been getting her hair done there since I was 10. It's a family legacy at this point). Can you tell that I'm excited?
For those of you who care, here is my schedule for the next few weeks so you can make your holiday plans. Because the world does revolve around me, after all (j/k!):
12/21-22: NYC
12/22-23: Reading, PA (holiday party with 80 of my closest relatives)
12/24-12/30: Pawling NY & NYC
12/30-1/1: Washington, DC
1/1-1/8: Santiago, Chile (for Katina and Renzo's wedding - can't wait!!!)
1/9-1/10: Nairobi
1/10: Juba
And with that, I will say bon voyage and leave you with some pictures. And the jealousy of realizing how many frequent flyer miles I will accumulate over the next 3 weeks.
1. Normal road conditions in Juba
2. Road between Juba and Torit Junction (notice the rusty vehicle on the right - landmine casualty)
3. SPLA Soldier stationed in Juba
4. Barracks (village) where SPLA soldiers are stationed at Torit Junction.
2. Road between Juba and Torit Junction (notice the rusty vehicle on the right - landmine casualty)3. SPLA Soldier stationed in Juba4. Barracks (village) where SPLA soldiers are stationed at Torit Junction.
5. Nuer man at Torit Junction
Peace
Petunia
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
my shitty week
Just so you don't think everything is idyllic and rose colored here in Juba, here's a rundown of my shitty week last week:
1. I got back from Tambura on Monday and immediately started feeling ill. I thought it was the beginning of a cold, but no. It turned into a high fever, aches all over, and a pounding headache. Could it be Malaria? No, I took a rapid test and it came back negative. Then the next day the stomach issues started. Thank the lord for Cipro, everything turned out fine. But that was about 36 hours not being able to sit or stand up and not being able to do work.
2. Wednesday I still wasn't feeling 100% but went to lunch with this guy I had sort of been seeing but he dumped me before I went to Tambura because "I really like you and it caught me off guard, and I decided I can't handle a relationship but I also can't pretend that I don't care about you and just date you casually" blah blah blah. He obviously wants to get laid with no strings attached, but still. Loser. So I basically called him a coward because seriously, I've never been dumped before in my life and he treated me like crap and he sucks. I left feeling worse about the whole thing for some reason. Not sure why.
3. Thursday NOTHING went well at work, I said something wrong at a meeting, got bad news about some procurement quotes, and I just felt like I could do nothing right. And I missed home with a vengence. My friends, my family, all I wanted was someone to vent to and a hug, but I don't have friends here yet that I can do that with, so no luck. I was basically on the verge of tears all day.
4. Friday was better, until I went to play touch rugby after work, which was fine until 2 minutes into playing when I badly sprained my ankle. They had mowed the pitch and in the process left huge ruts form the wheels of whatever machine they used. And I rolled my ankle in one of them. Heard it pop twice. It's still all swollen and purple as evidenced here:
5. Saturday I woke up to find I could not put any weight on my ankle so hobbled to the bathroom to take a shower. Afterwards, in the process of manoeuvering myself out of the shower so as not to put any weight on the ankle, I leaned on the toilet seat cover which promptly snapped right in half. Great.
6. Saturday night was the Halloween party at the USAID compound. Costumes, beer, a pool, and a party guaranteed to go til 6am. In theory this was a great idea, except I couldn't really dance because of my ankle. All in all it was fine, except when at 5am I turned around to see the stupid boy described above making out with one of his good friends who he swore nothing would ever happen with. Fun times! So, feeling slightly ill and almost freaking out, I left.
And that was that. Thank God this week is going better than the last. Life makes sense again and loser boy is out of the country so I don't have to deal with that for about 3 weeks. Yay!
1. I got back from Tambura on Monday and immediately started feeling ill. I thought it was the beginning of a cold, but no. It turned into a high fever, aches all over, and a pounding headache. Could it be Malaria? No, I took a rapid test and it came back negative. Then the next day the stomach issues started. Thank the lord for Cipro, everything turned out fine. But that was about 36 hours not being able to sit or stand up and not being able to do work.
2. Wednesday I still wasn't feeling 100% but went to lunch with this guy I had sort of been seeing but he dumped me before I went to Tambura because "I really like you and it caught me off guard, and I decided I can't handle a relationship but I also can't pretend that I don't care about you and just date you casually" blah blah blah. He obviously wants to get laid with no strings attached, but still. Loser. So I basically called him a coward because seriously, I've never been dumped before in my life and he treated me like crap and he sucks. I left feeling worse about the whole thing for some reason. Not sure why.
3. Thursday NOTHING went well at work, I said something wrong at a meeting, got bad news about some procurement quotes, and I just felt like I could do nothing right. And I missed home with a vengence. My friends, my family, all I wanted was someone to vent to and a hug, but I don't have friends here yet that I can do that with, so no luck. I was basically on the verge of tears all day.
4. Friday was better, until I went to play touch rugby after work, which was fine until 2 minutes into playing when I badly sprained my ankle. They had mowed the pitch and in the process left huge ruts form the wheels of whatever machine they used. And I rolled my ankle in one of them. Heard it pop twice. It's still all swollen and purple as evidenced here:
5. Saturday I woke up to find I could not put any weight on my ankle so hobbled to the bathroom to take a shower. Afterwards, in the process of manoeuvering myself out of the shower so as not to put any weight on the ankle, I leaned on the toilet seat cover which promptly snapped right in half. Great.
6. Saturday night was the Halloween party at the USAID compound. Costumes, beer, a pool, and a party guaranteed to go til 6am. In theory this was a great idea, except I couldn't really dance because of my ankle. All in all it was fine, except when at 5am I turned around to see the stupid boy described above making out with one of his good friends who he swore nothing would ever happen with. Fun times! So, feeling slightly ill and almost freaking out, I left.
And that was that. Thank God this week is going better than the last. Life makes sense again and loser boy is out of the country so I don't have to deal with that for about 3 weeks. Yay!
Saturday, October 6, 2007
If you're not outraged, you're not paying attention.
I always liked that bumper sticker. And is particularly appropriate when looking at Southern Sudan. Last week I attended a presentation of the findings of the first household survey for the south since the 1970's that was just completed and the statistics were just apalling in every possible way. So here are some of them for the 10 states in South Sudan just to put things in perspective:
-Primary school attendance: most states less than 10% with the lowest 4% and the highest 45%.
-Secondary school attendance: 5 states 0% (that means there are no highschools in half the states of this country) with the highest 12%. In one state, those with schools only male students attend.
-Female literacy: 4 states have 0% female literacy, with the highest at 7%.
-Infant mortality rate: 102 deaths for every 1000 live births (to put this in perspective, the US rate is 6/1000)
-Under-5 mortality rate: 135 per 1000 (US rate = 8/1000)
-Maternal mortality rate: 2037 maternal deaths out of 100,000 (this is the highest in the world. the US rate = 17/100,000)
-more than 60% of women have no ante-natal care
-Contraceptive prevalence rate: 5 states have 0% modern contraception
-Drinking water: 30% of households have access to "improved" drinking water; 87% households have no access to treated water
Seriously. How are you supposed to design education materials when no one can read? We pretested brand names/logos for packaging and had to completely redo the questionnaire because it was a lot about the visual association of the word and graphics and that point is completely moot here. It's just a completely different way of working and viewing the world and my role here. I realized this week that none of the work I produce here is going to measure up to my standards of quality, so I need to shift how I measure success and failure. Is success designing a perfect radio spot or brilliant creative brief? Probably not. Success will be training and building the capacity of the people who work with me to make their own new country better. And it will also be getting through the day and maybe eventually the week without becomeing depressed or overwhelmed. Don't get me wrong, I'm fine here, just trying to feel out what is going to work for me and what isn't when considering I'll be here for 2 years.
-Primary school attendance: most states less than 10% with the lowest 4% and the highest 45%.
-Secondary school attendance: 5 states 0% (that means there are no highschools in half the states of this country) with the highest 12%. In one state, those with schools only male students attend.
-Female literacy: 4 states have 0% female literacy, with the highest at 7%.
-Infant mortality rate: 102 deaths for every 1000 live births (to put this in perspective, the US rate is 6/1000)
-Under-5 mortality rate: 135 per 1000 (US rate = 8/1000)
-Maternal mortality rate: 2037 maternal deaths out of 100,000 (this is the highest in the world. the US rate = 17/100,000)
-more than 60% of women have no ante-natal care
-Contraceptive prevalence rate: 5 states have 0% modern contraception
-Drinking water: 30% of households have access to "improved" drinking water; 87% households have no access to treated water
Seriously. How are you supposed to design education materials when no one can read? We pretested brand names/logos for packaging and had to completely redo the questionnaire because it was a lot about the visual association of the word and graphics and that point is completely moot here. It's just a completely different way of working and viewing the world and my role here. I realized this week that none of the work I produce here is going to measure up to my standards of quality, so I need to shift how I measure success and failure. Is success designing a perfect radio spot or brilliant creative brief? Probably not. Success will be training and building the capacity of the people who work with me to make their own new country better. And it will also be getting through the day and maybe eventually the week without becomeing depressed or overwhelmed. Don't get me wrong, I'm fine here, just trying to feel out what is going to work for me and what isn't when considering I'll be here for 2 years.
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